If I were in Charge of the World

If I were in charge of the world,

I’d have my birthday three times a year.

I’d take away drugs and beer,

And stop homework overloads.

School would start at twelve P.M.,

Because a kid has to have sleep.

If I were in charge of the world,

Boring shopping malls

Would become amazing theme parks,

And Egan would have a swimming pool.

Wow! That would be cool!

If I were in charge of the world,

Computers wouldn’t get viruses

Or run really slowly like they usually do.

There would be no little brothers

Nagging at you

To have their turn to play,

Because they’d be doing your chores

And your homework, too.

If I were in charge of the world,

I’d have a few things changed, like

“A penny saved is a million bucks earned,”

or

“SON! Are you doing your homework again?

How many times have I told you,

That afternoons are for TV?”

Then it would be great, for a while at least.

But I don’t really want to be in charge forever.

If I were in charge of the world,

I’d get God as a substitute.